Wednesday, February 18, 2015

BITTER SWEET

2/16/2015

*18 months later*….
 
 Isn’t it amazing how you can sit at the computer and not figure out what words to say? I don’t think I have words to possibly express the way that I am feeling right now…
So first I just want to apologize for my lack of communication for these past weeks. I can't say that I have been busy because that would be the understatement of the year. From mission tours to sick companions things have been pretty crazy and hectic. I have had  some great weeks though. Full of excitement and hard work; So that pretty much sums up that. This week however was a bit on the down side as well. My companion wasn’t well for a few days and it seems as though the time has just come and gone. Our investigators were being troublesome or stubborn haha but overall we had a great end to the week since we planned a YSA activity for our branch and it turned out to be a huge success. Valentine’s Day was a BLAST. We planned a dance for the YSA (the first dance ever!!!) so of course it was the cutest thing ever but also so great. I have lots of pics so I will be sending.
So today is my last official p-day and it’s my final letter home before I’m back on that side. Can you believe it? So many things have happened and so much has changed. Yesterday I had the opportunity to share my testimony in the branch and it really made me think. For a final hoorah I would just like to share a few thoughts that I have had and that have impressed me as I prepare to return home. I have no doubt in my mind that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us. When I was called to serve in the Botswana Namibia mission I was so excited and ready for a great experience. While I was there serving I had no doubt in my mind that I was exactly where the Lord wanted me to be. When I first came here to the Zambia Lusaka Mission I was so hurt and confused and I didn’t understand. Slowly things began to unfold in a way that I knew God had a plan for me. Now I look back over the last 18 months and I realize that He had a plan all along for me. Even though there were many times that I struggled with my faith and with my hope. There were so many times that I pleaded with Heavenly Father to just take me out situations and trials that I had. I thought that I knew what was best, and now I know that he did. I have met some of the most amazing people in my life that have changed my life forever. I have learned more things than I ever would have before. My relationship with God has changed and I have as well.
 
There is a scripture in Jacob 4:10 that says, ‘’Seek not to counsel the Lord but to take counsel from his hand.’’ This verse I feel like is the biggest lesson that I have learned overtime. Too many times I have relied on my own wisdom and strength and every time I have fallen down and Heavenly Father has picked me back up again and I have learned to rely on him and not to bargain or beg for what I want but to trust and rely on him.  I truly don’t have words to really express how sad I am to be leaving here. Africa has become a part of me, and it has my heart. I know that I won’t be gone too long because home is where the heart is. I feel like I’m really leaving my family this time. I know that this truly is the work of salvation and nothing else can really compare to it. I know that mission is only preparing me for my real mission which is life. I pray that the things that I have learned will stay with me forever and that I can continue to stand strong and steadfast in this gospel. I not only believe that this gospel is true but I know it.
 

   love Sister Scott